The Elements Of True Love
True love has the power to heal and transform any situation and bring deep meaning to our lives.
True love is the most beautiful and powerful energy in the universe. When we all have true love, we will live in a peaceful and happy world.
We all want to have true love; we all want to love and be loved because love brings us happiness and peace. True love is for everyone. It’s for us, our partner, children, friends and parents, it’s for non-human animals and for anyone and everyone in the universe. To have true love, first we must understand what it is and we need to find it within ourselves. Only then can we offer our love to others.
Choosing to live life by the values of true love and in alignment with the truth
As a child, I instinctively and naturally knew what true love was. All children do. I could feel it in every molecule of my existence; it was all I ever wanted so I loved with all my heart and with all my being. I was nothing but pure love. As I grew, so did my love. If we are looking for true love, we should find the child we once were within ourselves. That version of us knows true love.
True love is crystal clear
Love is simple, effortless, uncomplicated and perfectly beautiful. We know it is true love when our love is pure, happy, free, peaceful, refreshing and never-ending. Love is always forever. Finding true love within allows us to find true love in each other. When we practice looking deeply, we can see that finding peace, happiness and true love all happen at the same time.
Falling in love with the love of my life, Rico, was the easiest and most beautiful thing I have ever done in my life. We have always lived by the values of true love ever since we were children. We waited for each other as long as we had to, and were loyal to each other even before we knew one another. Now we are each other’s one and only, and first everything; first love, first best friend and first kiss. Our love is forever growing and is filled with so much joy, peace, freedom and understanding. It is truly magical.
How to love by Thich Nhat Hanh
We were delighted to discover Thich Nhat Hanh’s wonderfully written books. Thich Nhat Hanh, also known as Thay, lives a life of peace and love. He is a vegan zen master, world-renowned writer, poet, scholar and peace activist who teaches the world mindfulness, peace and global ethics. He is my all-time favourite author. I’ve read and reread many of his books on my Kindle and can only recommend them to anyone interested in finding happiness, true love, compassion and peace in life.
The following is an excerpt from How To Love by Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh (2014). How To Love. Great Britain: Rider. (Kindle version, Location 66-88).
THE FOUR ELEMENTS OF TRUE LOVE
True love is made of four elements: loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. In Sanskrit, these are, maitri, karuna, mudita, and upeksha. If your love contains these elements, it will be healing and transforming, and it will have the element of holiness in it. True love has the power to heal and transform any situation and bring deep meaning to our lives.
LOVING KINDNESS
The first element of true love is loving kindness. The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.
COMPASSION
The second element of true love is compassion. Compassion is the capacity to understand the suffering in oneself and in the other person. If you understand your own suffering, you can help him to understand his suffering. Understanding suffering brings compassion and relief. You can transform your own suffering and help transform the suffering of the other person with the practice of mindfulness and looking deeply.
JOY
The third element of true love is the capacity to offer joy. When you know how to generate joy, it nourishes you and nourishes the other person. Your presence is an offering, like fresh air, or spring flowers, or the bright blue sky.
EQUANIMITY
The fourth element of true love is equanimity. We can also call it inclusivesness or nondiscrimination. In a deep relationship, there’s no longer a boundary between you and the other person. You are her and she is you. Your suffering is her suffering. Your understanding of your own suffering helps your loved one to suffer less. Suffering and happiness are no longer individual matters. What happens to your loved one happens to you. What happens to you happens to your loved one.
RESPECT AND TRUST
Along with the traditional four elements of true love—loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity—there are two more elements: respect and trust. These elements can be found in the four, but it helps to mention their names. When you love someone, you have to have trust and confidence. Love without trust is not yet love. Of course, first you have to have trust, respect, and confidence in yourself. Trust that you have a good and compassionate nature. You are part of the universe; you are made of stars. When you look at your loved one, you see that he is also made of stars and carries eternity inside. Looking in this way, we naturally feel reverence. True love cannot be without trust and respect for oneself and for the other person.
Thank you for being here.
Love, KarinLolita
